Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

With Love On Mother's Day - 5/9/2010
By: Janette

Of all the Mothers on the earth,....I confess,
That my Mother is the very best.
You raised me to give all my love,
To those who are here and up above.
I was the one that was sweet and good,
You did not hesitate to tell it, as well you should.
You taught us girls to sew and clean,
And how none of us should treat others mean.
You made sure our clothes always looked nice,
Having clothes with wrinkles would not suffice.
Our hair was always fixed just right,
Even when the scissors made you feel contrite.
The pixie dolls you made for us girls,
Had our own hair but not enough for dad to twirl.
You were always there to wipe my tears,
You taught me how to have no fear.
There are times when it's just you and me,
We sit and watch your shows on t.v.
I love you Mom and glad you're mine,
God sent me to you with his love divine.
You are always patient and forgiving,
Every day I have you is a day of thanksgiving.
I'm not your favorite, but I'm pretty sure,
I'm definitely one of your 'top' four.
It's hard to explain the love for my Mother,
It seems you're always there like no other.
This is your poem Mom and I want to say,
I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day!!

A Mother's Day Funny

There was an elderly lady whom was waiting in the waiting room with her daughter.The nurse entered the waiting area and announced for the elderly lady to go on back to see the doctor. The nurse spoke louder but still she could not hear.The elderly lady's daughter leaned over and said, "mother let's turn your hearing aid up." Then she yelled in shock,"That's not your hearing aid, its a suppository!The elderly mother replied,"Well, now I know where my hearing aid went! Happy Mothers Day to all you Moms out there!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Grandpa - True Story Or Not, It's Funny!

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable. 'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks, 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much goes all over the auditor's desk.The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I don't know if this is really National Friendship Week or not, but regardless, this is a good story and a lesson to be learned.

Source Unknown - There once was a little boy who had a bad temper... His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence... Over the nextfew weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed; They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends and family how much you care...I just did.