Saturday, July 19, 2008

39 Years of what??? Marriage!

The Art Of A Good Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you"
at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
The courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and
demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which
the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner,
it is being the right partner.
Well, yesterday the 18th of July Dave and I celebrated our 39th wedding aniversary. WOW! I would say that is a milestone! Especially in these days and times. It just doesn't seem like it has been that long. So many changes througout our married life has occured! Him graduating from college and going straight in to the Army afterwards was an experience of a lifetime. We moved away from home and saw many parts of the United States together. We were two explorers out there in this very big world all alone, just the two of us. I had one very little problem however and that was being homesick,....ALOT! I missed my mom and dad and was very lonesome for my sisters and my two nieces at the time. I missed my grandmother and Dave's family that lived here. It was the start of a whole new life.
We dated for four years before we did get married. I was a junior at Davis High and he was a sophmore and in my Algebra class when we met. He was a HUNK! He had beautiful blue eyes which was what caught my attention to him. He was active in all the sports. He was in track, football and wrestling. By the end of that year in Algebra, we were sitting next to each in class, along with two other couples. We were one of the two couples that eventually got married. That was two years after my high school graduation. When we first became a 'couple', he didn't have his driver's license. His sister Sue would bring him over to my house and we would spend time playing tennis up at the high school and going for walks. We talked alot about everything. His family had just moved from Pennsylvania. It was a big change for him and his sister, b
ut they eventually became very fond of Utah. We had a lot of fun together, and I became good friends with Sue at the same time. We were married in 1969, after his first year in college. I had attended a one year business college the year after I graduated from high school. Once he graduated from the U of U, we spent almost 12 years of him being in the Army. During that time we had our three children. When Ashley was a year old, we moved up to Kemmerer, WY and stayed there for 15 years. He became the Sgt. of the Kemmerer Police Department but eventually we decided to make a career change. We were very anxious to get back to Utah, so in Janurary 2000 he started out as a Training Lieutenant, later becoming the Program Officer at a correctional facility. When the state closed the facility, he worked for Weber County Sheriff's Dept., then Salt Lake Sheriff's Dept. as Corrections Officer. During the time between the correctional facility and working for Weber and SL County, he had applied for other jobs. He was selected in a Federal position with the US Attorney's Office. That was a term position that was to last four years. Towards the end of the four years he applied for a position with ATF (Alcohol, Tabacco and Firearms) as an Investigator. He's been with them since August of 2005. I have been working for the Dept. of Veterans Affairs in Human Resources ever since we moved down from Wyoming. It's hard to believe we have been back for over eight years.
I feel we are each other's best friend, confidant, teacher, listener and yes,....even critic. It has been said that "Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life. When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill".
I'm not going to say marriage has been one of the easiest things we live through and it takes a lot of work to succeed in it, but I can say that being together for all these years and growing older with one another, sharing feelings, experiencing new and different places, raising three children together, enjoying one beautiful grand-daughter and life with all its ups and downs,.....we have made it through and have experienced some of the best times of our lives with one another. So, here's to many, many more years! I love ya' Dave!

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